Hilarity Equals Wikipedia Times Google Squared

Google has created a new application called "Google Square". Here's how it works: you punch in a search term, and instead of Google returning a list of results, it attempts to create a table for you based on the artificial intelligence of a sun-damaged ant.

Here's the results you get when you type in WNBA:

1. Lauren Jackson is "Succeeded By" Sue Bird. Which makes sense, because Jackson is tall and frequently blocks Sue Bird from view, who is required by the league office to always be standing behind Jackson in case she makes a run for it.

2. Rebecca Lobo is "Succeeded By" Billie Winsett-Fletcher. In this case, the "succession" is the NCAA Woman of the Year award.

3. Ticha Penicheiro is succeeded by Stephanie White-McCarty. The "succession" is for the Wade Trophy.

4. Sheryl Swoopes is succeeded by Lisa Leslie. This is for the Naismith Women's College Player of the Year, but I suspect that it might also mean that Lisa Leslie has been following Swoopes for years and picking up Swoopes's loose change.

5. The Detroit Shock and the Connecticut Sun are succeeded by nothing. Either it means that these franchises will be around for 50 years from now, or that they will go late and unlamented.

6. Tina Thompson (or TINA THOMPSON, as Google rightly puts it) is succeeded by Margo Dydek. The succession is as first overall pick in the WNBA regular draft - Thompson went #1 in 1997, Dydek went #1 in 1998. I think it would be hard to find two players more dissimilar.