Friday, May 22, 2009
Poor Joanne doesn't even have an internet pic. As for her sister....
If there's any justice, I suppose it will be granted to Joanne McCarthy in the next world. It wasn't granted to her in this one.
She was the third of four sisters. Her older sister was Jenny McCarthy - yes, that Jenny McCarthy - born two years earlier.
Joanne: "I just had a great high school senior year."
Jenny: "Did you see me in Playboy? I'm gonna be Playmate of the Year!"
Joanne: "I just set the UIC career records for scoring and assists."
Jenny: "I'm going to have my own television show!"
In 1998, Joanne was drafted in the fifth round of the American Basketball League draft by the Chicago Condors. True to Joanne McCarthy's luck, the Chicago Condors lasted a grand total of 12 games before the league slid into bankruptcy. She only played in six games, and didn't start in any of them. She shot .300 from the field, going 3-for-13 from the 3-point line. She played 45 minutes in front of spartan crowds (although more people must have seen Joanne McCarthy play than had ever seen Jenny, which was cancelled after 10 of 17 planned episodes).
As I've said, in the History of Suck, there had to be nothing more sucky than playing in that 1998-99 ABL season as a rookie, having the rug pulled out from under you with the league's bankruptcy, and not being picked up by the WNBA afterwards.
McCarthy never made it to the WNBA. In 2001, the University of Illinois-Chicago retired her number, and when someone explains to someone attending who the number belongs to, I'm sure some fool will leave the arena at UIC with the impression that Jenny McCarthy played basketball between Playboy shoots and movie openings.
However, Joanne never resented her older sister's success. Furthermore, Jenny cheered her sister on at UIC whenever she was able to.
After her ABL career finished, Joanne McCarthy disappeared from the public spotlight. We wish we could say the same about Jenny, who has become an anti-vaccination nutcase. (At least shooting .300 from the field never caused people to die.) I would venture to guess that some people have only heard of Joanne McCarthy because they looked up everything they could find out about Jenny McCarthy. I wouldn't say that I'd never heard of Jenny McCarthy, but I only found out the connection second-hand - which is as it should be.