Pleasant Dreams Makes the Local News

A feature article by Dyana Bagby at the Southern Voice addresses the equation of the WNBA and its lesbian fanbase. Why don't players come out of the closet? Is the WNBA trying to specifically downplay the image of the "butch" athlete?

Lots of people get interviewed for the article, including former Dream player Chantelle Anderson and several Atlanta Dream fans....

...including a blogger that you might be reading right now. (Yep, the blog gets a mention!)

The article's definitely worth a read, if not necessarily to hear my words of wisdom then to hear Chantelle's. You know that Chantelle would never hold anything back!

The WNBA: New Customers vs. Repeat Business

Someone once wrote that all of women's basketball fandom could be split into three groups. There might be some overlap, but not a lot:

a) the elderly,
b) males taking their young (under 13) daughters so that the daughters will have strong women as role models, and
c) lesbians.

Let's take this bold statement as a jump-off point, and accept it uncritically as fact. The above group is the "repeat business" of the WNBA - these are the WNBA's potential core base, who are going to keep coming to games come what may. They have bought in.

The question is in which direction should the WNBA go if it is to survive? It seems that 100 percent of the emphasis on the WNBA financial future is about new business - we need more fans in the seats. We need better attendance. We no longer need repeat business, we need new customers instead.

Indeed, that appeared to be the emphasis on WNBA advertising from 1997-2000. The goal was to market to the yuppie crowd, and make the WNBA audience a "family audience" - mom, dad, Junior and little Sis. The impression I got from brief glances at the WNBA during the 20th century was that this was to be some vast, untapped market.

Unfortunately, it didn't turn out that way. For whatever reason, the WNBA couldn't grab that middle class young professional demographic. Rumor has it that when these middle class right-leaning families came to Utah Starzz games, they were taken aback by the loud and proud lesbian presence - in Utah. (Did they believe that lesbians did not exist in Salt Lake City?) It would have been unseemly for the WNBA to purge the lesbos, so they lost the Young Republicans.

In the 21st Century, the WNBA began looking for some new, heretofore untapped audience. It appears that they settled on attempting to grab fans that had some hesitation about attending a WNBA game because they believed that the quality of play of women's basketball wasn't very good. This culminated in the self-abasing commercials of the 2008 season where players were forced to repeat humiliating lines on camera as to how bad women's basketball was - with video clips to prove the opposite. The new commercials not only confirmed the prejudices of their target audience but alienated their core audience. The core audience had enough problems dealing with the red-bellied woodpeckers out there; they didn't need the WNBA parroting the arguments of the enemy, even if in jest.

One gets the suspicion that the WNBA doesn't particularly like its core audience and if a magic wand could be waived and all three groups above could be replaced by some corn-fed midwestern demographic it would be the solution to all of the WNBA's problems.

This is a shame, because the solution the to WNBA's financial problems might not be in the hunt for new customers - which should, of course, not be abandoned - but to pay more attention to its core base.

One rule of marketing is that is costs more money to create a new customer than to service an old one. Furthermore, it also costs less money to keep an old customer than a new one, because "brand loyalty" sets in. Let's suppose that the WNBA needs to increase its revenues by 20 percent to survive another year. Which do you think would be the more difficult task?

a) get the core base to put up another 20 percent in revenue, or
b) try to increase your fan base by 20 percent and keep revenue charges the same?

I suggest that a) is easier than b). The a) group is more likely to spend money anyway; you just need to give them a reason to open their wallets.

Therefore, instead of looking for new fans the WNBA should market more effectively to its older ones. This could be a three-pronged effort:

1. Commercials that appeal to the elderly base and the family base. You could theoretically appeal to both bases at once. If I were doing commercials for the WNBA, I would emphasize the link between the current WNBA players and their parents. You see Diana Taurasi all the time, but you never see her parents.

A commercial would be narrated by Mr. and Mrs. Taurasi emphasizing the pride they have in Diana's accomplishments. Diana would not have any lines in the commercial, but we would see her play. Diana might appear at the end with her parents, and the messages would be....

...I am a strong child of strong parents
...my parents nurtured me to achieve my dreams
...I am proud of my parents
...my parents are proud of me

Let's see the red-bellied woodpeckers out there mock parenthood. If you get a set of parents that look elderly and wise enough, it would appeal both to the elderly - "hey, that player is just like our granddaughter!" and to the male (married or divorced) who is looking for something to do on a weeknight or weekend with his daughter. If the WNBA is looking to create a family atmosphere...my suggestion is that you emphasize the families that actually exist. If you can get Angel McCoughtry playing one-on-one with her dad in a commerical, that would be great.

2. Commercials that explicitly appeal to the lesbian fanbase. It's time. They have a network for that and everything...ever hear of LOGO?

Face it, of the three groups above, it's the lesbians that have the income. Whenever I go to Dream games, the season ticket areas are packed with older, graying lesbians that own their own businesses, that are executives in companies, that have a lot of disposable income. And, inexplicably, the WNBA would like to ignore that.

Don't worry about getting the reputation of being a "lesbian league". The red-bellied woodpeckers have made that argument for 13 years; they won't be convinced of anything.

If a player is willing to come out of the closet, let her come out and do commercials on LOGO or elsewhere. Hanging out with a bunch of women (the sexual orientation doesn't have to be stated) and just having a lot of fun. "I can be with my friends in the WNBA," would be the message. The WNBA is your friend. Come to the games.

Hell, I'd go all out and see if LOGO could put together a WNBA studio show. Maybe even televise a few games. Why the hell not? I'm sure that a few fiery lesbian fans as announcers could give Art Eckman a run for his dollar. Where is the lesbian Charles Barkley as announcer? Don't tell me that the Lesbian Nation has no opinionated women in it!

In short, in times this bad economically, I suggest to the WNBA that it stop running after the pot of gold behind the ever-further-away rainbow and reach out to what it has. Word of mouth helps business a lot more than the most spectacular commercials anyway. To borrow an old sterotype, it's time for the W to stop trying for the spectacular slam-dunk and put its emphasis on the old-school game.

Chantelle Anderson: Using "Lesbian" as Ju-Jitsu

There's an article by Chantelle Anderson at Yardbarker called "Why Men Hate Lesbians...." and I hope it will start a run of provocative articles written by WNBA players. Anderson is clearly marking her territory as an intelligent commentator and I hope it continues.

I didn't have much of a comment on the article, but the jist of it is that if (obstensibly) straight men like gay women as sexual fantasy figures, then why is "lesbian" the slur of choice by the red-bellied woodpeckers (RBWs) when applied to women's basketball players?

Anderson, in effect, has engaged in a form of verbal ju-jitsu. The short version of her article is "I claim that you men who knock the WNBA for its players being lesbian hate all lesbians. Prove otherwise."

This puts the RBWs in a bind. There are only three rational responses.

a) "Yes, I hate all lesbians." That makes the detractors homophobes and the detractor find himself becoming the outcast. Those who hate the WNBA become hate-filled imbeciles on the same level as racists.

b) "No, I don't hate all lesbians. I just hate unattractive lesbians." This answer is worse than a). It implies that the RBW who chooses b) as his answer is not merely a homophobe, but a hypocrite as well. He hates all lesbians, but makes an exception if they meet his sexual fantasy needs - in short, he hates except in cases where hatred would cause him inconvenience. At least out-and-out homophobes can claim consistency as one of their few virtues.

c) "Your claim is false. My hatred of the WNBA has nothing to do with lesbians, but is due to other reasons." In which case, those who propose c) as their reason are forced to resort to rationality instead of intimidation. For most of these RBWs, resorting to rationality is a disadvantage for them - they're just not very good at it.

The entertainment to be gained from people who claim c) comes from the fact that a supposedly rational person pretends to make a plausible claim to "hate" a sport. Chantelle Anderson's Yardbarker post promises not only present-moment entertainment in the comments sections but entertainment for many years to come. Her post was an act of ju-jitsu that Ultimate Fighting would be hard to match.

Becky Hammon, Bankability and Homosexuality

A very interesting blog article can be found here at the Girl in Short Shorts Blog, discussing the entire Hammon/Russian team angle from an angle different from the angle usually taken.

From what GiSS writes, the WNBA has made Becky Hammon one of its more bankable stars. She has this Sweet All-American Girl look, Bill Clinton supposedly came to a WNBA game to watch Becky play, and she's that (white) face of bankability to make the WNBA a "family" game.

When last year's WNBA MVP runner-up was inexplicably left off a list of 23 invitees to the U. S. Basketball Women's Olympic Training Camp, this set off a chain of events than ended with Hammon on the Russian team. So the WNBA is concerned about its new sweet All-American bankable star ending up with the Russians. It makes Hammon less "saleable".

However, I suspect there is a further concern. According to the Girls in Short Shorts blog, Hammon might be -- and I am not saying this, not claiming this, not having any evidence that it is the case -- gay. Which is no damn big deal. We know at least 5 percent of the WNBA would have to be gay based on demographics alone, and the number is probably greater due to the fact that lesbians have been attracted to sports since time immemorial. (The Sapphic Games competed with the all-male Olympics for years, but sadly, the yearly winners have been lost to legend.)

I'm sure part of the WNBA's fear might be that inquiring reporters will expose the nature of Becky's (hypothetically gay) love life, and the VFW crowd will throw up their hands and say, "That's it! All women's basketball players are gay." If this would be true, women's basketball would join the list of all-gay professions, such as the steel industry. (According to sociologist Moe Szyslak.) The WNBA has to Keep Becky Hammon Marketable, which I suppose is synonymous with Keep Becky Hammon Heterosexual. (Ask Ellen DeGeneres how her career was destroyed by coming out. Ask Sheryl Swoopes, too.)

Ah, what interesting times we live in. All the dumb ass suggestions we've heard. Makeup classes, the suggestion of the liberal masters of the WNBA. Dressing like Olympic beach volleyball players, the suggestion of the conservative masters of...well, whatever.

Here's a suggestion to the WNBA and its fans: you're outsiders. You're an outsider league. The beer-and-pretzel crowd isn't going to accept you. The mere fact that you're women who are successful at sports threatens them already. An entire team of sweet-Becky-Hammon-looking girls would only be accepted at an eye-candy-hot-ass level, and never for sports skills.

MARKET TO THE OUTSIDERS, WNBA! The outsiders in this world laugh at the beer-and-pretzel crowd. They have nothing but contempt for the jock/fratboy crowd, and they'd be quick to claim solidarity with the WNBA. X-Games are very popular, so there's room for outsider sports in America. Maybe when Hammon is asked by a sports reporter, "so, do you feel like you've betrayed your country?" she should just flip him off, kick him in the groin and shout, 'Next time, don't ask such a dumbass question!'"

Hammon would probably lose a lot of fans...but gain a lot of others. I'm not saying this is the way the WNBA must go, I'm just throwing it out there. Now let me get back to my Soviettes albums.